How I’m Learning to Lean Into Stress Instead of Letting It Spiral

Yesterday I did the CrossFit Open workout.

And if I’m honest? I am the worst at creating my own anxiety.

Not the workout itself.
Not the movements.
Not even the effort.

It’s the build-up.

The anticipation.
The countdown.
The “what if.”
The overwhelm that creeps in before I even start the workout.

Some of that is good. I care. I want to do well. I want to perform at my best. But there’s a line where healthy anticipation turns into self-created stress—and that’s the balance I’m still learning.

Here’s what I’m working on.

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1. My Body Doesn’t Know the Difference Between Fear and Excitement

Elevated heart rate.
Butterflies.
Adrenaline.

Physiologically, fear and excitement are almost identical.

But somewhere along the way, I started labeling that feeling as anxiety instead of anticipation. Instead of thinking, “Let’s go.” I think, “What if this goes badly?”

The reframe is simple, but powerful:

Am I actually anxious… or am I excited?

The Open is supposed to be exciting. It’s a test. It’s a challenge. It’s an opportunity. My body gearing up isn’t a problem — it’s preparation.

I’m learning to tell myself:
This isn’t anxiety. This is energy.

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2. The Anticipation Is Worse Than The Workout

If you’re like me, you’ve already done the workout 50 times in your head before “3…2…1…go.”

You’ve missed the lift.
You’ve blown up on the rower.
You’ve tripped on the double-unders.
You’ve replayed every worst-case scenario.

By the time the workout actually starts, you’re mentally exhausted.

But here’s the truth: the anticipation is always worse than the event.

Once the clock starts, clarity kicks in. There’s no more guessing. No more spiraling. Just work.

And every single time, when it’s over, I think:

“That wasn’t nearly as bad as I made it in my head.”

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3. This Is Supposed to Be Fun

Perspective matters.

Will I remember this specific score in a year? Probably not.

Will I remember the experience? The effort? The people cheering? The feeling of pushing myself when I wanted to back off?

Absolutely.

These are the moments that make up the story. Not the routine days. Not the easy wins. The days that challenge you a little. The ones that make your heart pound before you begin.

Fitness isn’t just about being fit. It’s about doing things that feel a little scary. It’s about showing up anyway.

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4. Finding the Balance

I don’t think the goal is to eliminate nerves. I don’t think I want to.

The goal is to channel them.

To let anticipation feel exciting instead of overwhelming.
To care without spiraling.
To recognize that growth usually sits right on the edge of discomfort.

Yesterday reminded me of something important:

I don’t need to get rid of the butterflies.
I just need to teach them to fly in formation.

And maybe that’s part of the work too.

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